Garden Decoration Aficionados Gifts

'The Santa vacancy has been filled but we may have something for you in the Roof Garden...'

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

Garden Gnome fishing all the fish for pond.

The Fall of Gnome

California Gold...field of poppies with matching border

Goddess of Fertility garden feature

"It would be better with a protein, but add-ons are so expensive."

'They might be able to resist the candy, but no healthy child can walk by a freshly raked pile of leaves.'

Bird sees coo coo bird emerge from birdhouse

"It's a recipe for apple pie."

'Okay dear, it's your turn to go stand in the front yard.'

"They looked smaller on the website."

"It's the worst summer I've ever known."

"Is this one a flower or a weed? I'm not sure whether to admire it or not."

"I like your garden humans"

'We thought gnomes would be a little common'.

Redneck Lawn Art

'Frank! It's Back!!

Bird House Doorbell

'I can't spend the afternoon with you guys, my wide wants me to help her in the garden: It's full of sea-weeds...'

Ante-Natal Clinic

Oh, a metrognome!

"Just how long has Murray been retired?"

Garden Centre - Weapons of Moss Destruction.

"My hair stylist used to be a topiarist."

'Every once in a while a person puts more seeds in it, but where he gets it is beyond me.'

'A bit extravagant don't you think you think?'

"I just realized everyone I know is fake."

"Should I fix it or should I call it a water feature?"

"He promise me the Earth - then got an allotment off the Council."

"It's a rockery...next year we're putting in a water feature."

"Adam, I think I must be allergic to that fruit we ate back in the garden!"

Tacky lawn ornament hunting. (It's a HUGE sport here in the United States!)

Toilet-Trees

'Oh great. The Jones replaced their bird bath with a hot tub.'