Garden Conversationalist T-Shirts

"I've spent Lockdown learning all the names of the birds in the garden... that's Keith, Carol, Mike and Sally."

"It started with him just talking to it in the garden, now he invites it in for a drink."

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

Award Winning Gardener

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

"When will somebody cut the grass?"

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

"I'm feeling somewhat optimistic. Let's get perennials."

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

Summer in Elysium and The long vacation in Arcadia

'So much for talking to plants. I distinctly heard it tell me to shut up!'

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

'If all goes according to plan, this garden should reach crisis proportions by midsummer.'

'Casual Friday's never caught on in this department.'

'Um. . . I don't think that's a candy bar.'

"Dunno...they all look the same to me..."

Beware of the Lawn

The Last Days of a Hydrangea

Annual flower having a mid-life crisis in July

"Of course working from home is different. . ."

"Retirement was a culture shock, I still haven't mastered 'pottering'."

Bird feeder being used by vultures.

Tomorrow's our first eco club meeting. Yeah, I'm nervous! There are so many big issues!

Man watering with the 'Theory of Natural selection'.

"Boy I love this garden, there are flowers everywhere: Not only is the lady a keen gardener, but she is retired now..."

"If a tree falls in the forest and no-one hears it.".... "Then your illegal logging business is a success."

"Killer? Is that what they call us? Eh don't say killer tiger or killer charm or killer wolf."

Bird baths with two different kinds of water - sparkling and still.

The Perfect Garden.

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'