Chatty Gardener T-Shirts

"Ask me anything you want about Water Cress!"

'I thought she'd never shut up!'

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

An Unexpected Guest.

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Planting seeds in garden - broad beans and jelly beans.

'The attendant is very good. I tip him the occasional sparrow.'

Tree Passion

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

The Phantom Of The Garden

'Ah, now's there's something different....'

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

'I'm in the amusingly shaped vegetables department.'

'And if you squeeze snapdragons just like this, it sort of looks like they're biting something.'

Planting Bird Seed.

The beautiful but deadly 'Venus dog trap'.

'I've had so many transplants, I feel like a garden nursery.'

City Zoo: 'Try our exotic composts in your garden.'

Hydroponic Gardening

"Gnomeschooling is harder than I thought!"

Wet weather footwear - shoes that are shaped like boats.

'Manure, you say? We always put custard on our rhubarb!'

'What on earth made you think of growing water melons in the bath Henry?'

'How did you cope before 24-hour rolling gossip?'

"I stopped singing to my plants! I've never had one say 'shaddup!' before!"

'You've never forgotten that Elsie Turner, have you George!'

'Every summer, dandelions can't wait to go topless!'

Clown watering his flowers.

'Well Miss Pearson, this flood resistant GM Maize you've developed is pure genius. Giving it gills was a masterstroke'

Bonsai farms: 'We started growing normal trees, but it didn't work out!'

Football fan

Hipster Yard

'I borrowed Timmy's model plane to crop dust the garden.'

Man with a sunflower head watering flowers with human faces.

Woman Planting Flowers in her Snow Covered Garden.