Garden Center Employee Gifts

No, the plant food is not plant-based.

'...and this is our noisiest model Sir - just right for waking up the neighbours on a Sunday morning.'

"Can you sell me some of that same type of fertilizer Jack was using?"

"Good morning. Fen, Boscage, Bracken & Spinney."

"We’re a lending aquarium."

National Living Wage from April 1st.

"I've worked as a wet-nurse for ten years, but I'm after something new now..."

"So I can eat better here at work."

"Strategic plan B: We chop down all the office plants and grow vegetables."

'Of course, now that we have turf, we'll need someone to protect it.'

'Strategic plan B: we chop down all the office plants and grow vegetables.'

Job Creation Department - Door in need of a handle

Football fan

"Well, goodbye old friend. You were always there for me, obedient and loyal... The best husband I've ever had..."

Garden store owner chasing away birds from his seed display.

'Bugleweed makes a nice ground cover, and you don't have to set your alarm.'

"This is my favorite photo of our autumn leaves."

Man to man about man at desk being watered: 'A bit of nurturing and he should grow into the job nicely.'

'Personnel, hire someone with a green thumb quick!'

Garden centre shopper please by 'Satchmo' gnome

Julia Childs combats a growing rabbit population

'There's no vacancy for piss-artist-in-residence at the moment.'

Flower Show Information. What brings my favorite and only son-in-law here? I'm keeping my nursery up to date on best horticultural practices

"It's my side hustle."

"Grow!"

'Open the cash register!'

'Simkins, you're fired!'

"Wait a minute...Aren't you the bloke who told me I didn't have what it takes to be a fire fighter?!"

Clown Gardening

'Yes; I read your report, Hanson. Then I took it home and spread it around my rosebushes.'

"I've decided to eat healthy, so I'm growing a garden in my office. It also reduces the stress caused by working here."

"The vibration may be a drive shaft problem – or opportunity."

"Who brought in that invasive species? Not the plant, the consultant."

"The Santa vacancy has gone but I may be able to use you in the Roof Garden...."

'Eddie's a ghoul and a vegan.'