Garbage Guru Gifts

"This is the part of the job that I hate."

'But it was never enough. He returned, week after week, looking for more.'

"Don't get me wrong, it's good for us, but I can't believe how much food humans waste..."

A man sits in an armchair admiring his little pickers and trophies of litter he has picked up which are displayed on the wall.

"If obsessing about trash is wrong, then. . . I don't wanna be right."

"That is both disgusting and ridiculous!!"

Fly Tipping

The dumpster code - find something, leave something.

"I can never remember which bin day it is, so I just put them all out."

Dustbin monster.

Municipal employee strike. Hang on boys. As soon as the stench reaches City Hall, they'll negotiate in good faith.

'Ruddy Fly Tippers Have Been Again!'

Head of Rubbish to fox - 'We're looking for new holes in the ground.'

'Gee, I never expected to find this problem here too!'

'We can't take this big couch, ma'am.'

'One day son, all this will be collected.'

Buried Rubbish

"We'll analyze the only thing left to analyze: what people throw away."

We're being innundated with the garbage phobia: 'Now that they're starting to recycle this stuff aren't you glad I didn't throw it out?'

"I'm heading to the dumpster - anyone want anything?"

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

Homegrown solutions for a smaller carbon footprint.

Allotment

Plants Cheer as They Get Watered.

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

How can he sleep so comfortably knowing that pillow will someday be clogging a land fill...

Florabation - '..mmm...It must be spring!'

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

'My electric car is giving me static!'

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

'Well, kids, it all started with a massive Federal program to combat global warming....'

"Which of these will look the prettiest without the others?"

Wordplay: Gastropod.