Garbage Duty Dodger Gifts

"Sorry Mrs. Tate. There's no cure for Not-Taking-Out-The-Garbage-Itis."

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

Future garbage truck driver.

"Which end does the diaper go on 'cause there's stuff comin' out of both of 'em!"

"Mom, no raking for me this fall! Got any more leaf bags?"

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

'Why is it always me that has to put the cat out?'

"What kind of 'best friend' expects you to pick up their sh*t?"

A genie helps a man fold laundry.

'How can he remember 37 passwords but always forget to pick his clothes up off the floor?'

'Making a To-Do List is on my Bucket List.'

"Got outta jury duty!"

'Forget 'forsaking all others', you can have the week off' (housewife to husband).

'They are worried about the economy.'

"Can't you rake the leaves? I'm raking in cash."

'You thought having 'flu would get you out of doing the dishes.'

'Mr. big shot scientist who works 18 hours a day at a prestigious lab developing high strength corrosion inhibitors, but can I get him to spend 2 minutes getting rust stains out of our own tub? No.'

"I've decided to give up my day to day responsibilities."

"Do you have a moment to be late for something you just made up?"

"You recused yourself from this case. I recuse myself from jury duty."

Bowling.

'We're out of cereal!'

'No this isn't hell, but it's close. I supervise recycling and rubbish collection for Islington.'

'Farming over a toxic waste dump does cut herbicide and pesticide uses and costs.'

"Bad news...you don't have a deadly disease. You've got to go back to work."

'Great news! Your father's got a job.'

"Mom, ca I rest for a while? I'm having labor pains!"

'Now you're out of order!!'

Patches never suspected his best friend had betrayed him.

"He forgot to record the game, so he had to watch it live. The 1,284 commercials was too much for him to handle."

"This is defifitely not going on my facebook likes."

'Notice how the brown of the pants nicely picks up the brown of the dogshit on your shoes.'

'At least this will get me out of jury duty.'

'There's nothing wrong with my arm - I wear it to get out of washing the dishes!'

"No dear, Bin Day is Thursday."