Civic Duty Dodger Gifts

'At least this will get me out of jury duty.'

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

"I'll cross any ocean to fight for our country! I'll travel to the gates of hell to defend our rights!"

"What kind of 'best friend' expects you to pick up their sh*t?"

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'

"I cloned myself to take care of my Thanksgiving duties while I watch football in peace."

"Nooooo!"

Vote Signal

'Yep, I've voted in every election since 1948!' 'Don't be so hard on yourself!'

"Wake up, it's Spring and we forgot to vote!"

With Jury Duty for All

"Does the co-op board have any idea when the elevators will be replaced?"

"Got outta jury duty!"

"Civic responsibility, ethics, and a dedication to the people we serve; they're killing our business."

'Making a To-Do List is on my Bucket List.'

'Well, it's an idea whose time has come.'

"...Apparently we're responsible for snow removal on that stretch of highway we adopted."

'Forget 'forsaking all others', you can have the week off' (housewife to husband).

CONGRESS "Voter apathy is no big deal - What scares me is TAXPAYER apathy."

"I've decided to give up my day to day responsibilities."

'Tell me why I should excuse you from serving on jury duty. Be careful what you say. I have been trained to read between the lies.'

The First Vote

I'm hearing voices. What are they saying? They're telling me to do something to say something. What? Vote! America please vote! What's happening? Shouldn't disembodied voices be more insidious? Holy Uncle Mort.

Exercise is the key to strength.

'Mr. big shot scientist who works 18 hours a day at a prestigious lab developing high strength corrosion inhibitors, but can I get him to spend 2 minutes getting rust stains out of our own tub? No.'

"I had hoped to vote in US elections."

Can you feel the excitement building? The election is more than a month off. Nonsense!! It's not more than a month off? Yes, technically, in the sense that time is ordinarily measured. But it's so close I can taste it. You can taste the general election? Like chocolate mousse! The season of the political junkie is upon us.

"Here's our verdict. Can we go now?"

'If the election was held today, would you be surprised?'

The ballot box.

Color cartoon of Santa Claus holding an umbrella that reads VOTE.

"We must assure the public that our fiscal review will not result in increased property taxes."

"You recused yourself from this case. I recuse myself from jury duty."

Elections: Carrying a Cross

"Well then, can we count on your vote if you get a job that pays well enough to get your car repaired so you can drive to your polling station?"