Civic Dodger Gifts

"I've been called for jury duty. How can I get out of it?"

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

"Don't bother gathering carbs for me, I'm on the Paleo diet."

"When I grow up, I want to impeach a president."

"You go on ahead. I'm going to hang out here for the next few months until everyone stops saying the word 'caucus.'"

Election Cancelling Headphones

"Got outta jury duty!"

"Oh look! Another crappy grant which requires my goddamned work interact with the f**king community!"

Man ignores DIY book and instead reads book entitled: 'Get someone else to do it'.

'Maybe you can't legislate morality, but you can have a lot of fun trying.'

'His last words were 'Go Dodgers!''

"Sorry, dear, but vowing NOT to climb Mount Everest this year isn't a valid New Year's resolution."

Elise Stefanik

"If they find out I'm a flight attendant pretend a heart attack so we can leave early."

'Tell me why I should excuse you from serving on jury duty. Be careful what you say. I have been trained to read between the lies.'

'We bought this bolt hole to get away from politicians talking green politics.'

Vote

"I'm not ready for a big commitment. Could I just pal around with a sidewalk a little?"

"You recused yourself from this case. I recuse myself from jury duty."

'I like to take one day at a time.' - 'Trouble is you're three weeks behind.'

'Great news! Your father's got a job.'

"Bad news...you don't have a deadly disease. You've got to go back to work."

"I'm unable to take a position on that issue until I find out which side will get me more votes."

'You're under arrest for disturbing the peace.'

Two guys in golf cart: 'You didn't get out and vote?' - 'Are you kidding me.....?'

'Now you're out of order!!'

'Is it bad etiquette to bring my universal remote to this party you're dragging me to?'

Sidewalk Repairs

Bob liked to get away from it all. They all knew it and liked to follow him.

"He forgot to record the game, so he had to watch it live. The 1,284 commercials was too much for him to handle."

"No. I didn't receive a Vote Remain leaflet either, but I never bother to register my vote anyway."

'At least this will get me out of jury duty.'

"If my wife calls, I'm at the protest."

"I programmed your fitness watch to tell the truth."