Dog Duty Dodger Gifts

"What kind of 'best friend' expects you to pick up their sh*t?"

"Mom, no raking for me this fall! Got any more leaf bags?"

"Which end does the diaper go on 'cause there's stuff comin' out of both of 'em!"

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

"Thank goodness for pet doors because the alarm on my piddle clock was about to ring on the rug."

'Why is it always me that has to put the cat out?'

"I cloned myself to take care of my Thanksgiving duties while I watch football in peace."

"Why run a marathon when you can sleep through it?"

"I'll walk, you shovel."

'For a minute there I didn't think we were gonna make it tonight!'

'I follow my doctor's orders religiously. He said for me to spend two hours a day on the tennis court.'

'Making a To-Do List is on my Bucket List.'

'Forget 'forsaking all others', you can have the week off' (housewife to husband).

"No, Senator, I'm afraid stretching the truth doesn't count as yoga."

'Mr. big shot scientist who works 18 hours a day at a prestigious lab developing high strength corrosion inhibitors, but can I get him to spend 2 minutes getting rust stains out of our own tub? No.'

'You thought having 'flu would get you out of doing the dishes.'

"I've decided to give up my day to day responsibilities."

"Can't you rake the leaves? I'm raking in cash."

'Dinner.'

"You recused yourself from this case. I recuse myself from jury duty."

"Dora's anxiety has always manifested itself in the 'flight response.'"

'How about a bike ride?' 'Nah, the seat hurts my butt, and I'd have to put air in the tires, and I'd have to put shorts on so my pant leg doesn't get caught and...' 'And you'd have to get up.' 'And I'd have to get up.'

"If this meeting becomes too heated, we'll create a distraction...like running out the door."

"Bad news...you don't have a deadly disease. You've got to go back to work."

'Great news! Your father's got a job.'

'Oh and can my Mum gtake me - around in her 4x4 - Sir?'

"Man, why do they call it 'doggie-doo' when what they really mean is "doggie-don't"?

'Now you're out of order!!'

'Wait...Sir...It's customary to pay for services when rendered!'

"I see Rover has introduced himself to you?"

"I'm going for a swim. Wanna come?"

"If you're so interested in watching reality, how about watching your baby brother?"

'I want you to touch your toes twenty times a day.' - 'No way, my cap will fall off.'

"This is defifitely not going on my facebook likes."