Garage Tinkering Gifts

'I'll say this for it - It keeps him out of the house.'

"It's worse than I thought."

Man has a picture of a rolls on his garage door...the car inside is very different.

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

"The instructions for the beer-making kit you gave me? Didn't need them -- I figured it out for myself. Drink up."

CLEAR!

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

'No, don't tell me, your electric garage door is broken.'

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

'I think I've found what's been causing my funny buzzing sounds.'

'I'm sorry, but I don't know anything about external combustion engines.'

Jenkins took special pride in his new invention, the rubberband-powered runabout.

'My husband thought he could save money by repairing it himself.'

"Forget it – we're not buying some expensive sex robot for it to end up unused in the garage with the massaging armchair and the rowing machine."

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.

'There goes the squeak in your brakes, Mrs. Ferguson.'

Auto Mechanic Birthdays

When did you last have your oil changed?

'I wanted a little more speed. I just hope I'm not violating any laws by using a jet engine.'

'I need a really loud horn. My brakes are a bit spongy.'

'I understand you work on foreign models?'

He spends all weekend under the stupid thing, but I don't think he's really fixing anything.

Repairing the UFO

Mad Cyclist Disease, the latest problem to plague cyclists.

"Oh...that's not good."

'I've been riding small, fast bikes for awhile. I thought it was time to build a bigger motorcycle.'

'Mac works on cars strictly for his own amusement.'

"I'm having a little difficulty adjusting. The last place I worked was a lot bigger."

"When was the last time you started her up?"

'The bass has shattered the windows in all my neigbor's homes. They hate me, but they like my car.'

"They don't build them like this any more. Heck, why would they?"

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

'Before you say it's got some old parts, remember that you repaired it last time.'

"I want you to call that idiot you hired to build our garage...he made it too small for our car!"