Garage Tinkerers Gifts

'We need to drain the pool.'

"Your new recruit's bicycle is ready, commander."

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

Man has a picture of a rolls on his garage door...the car inside is very different.

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

Mouse in a hamster wheel.

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

"Maybe you set it up wrong."

"The instructions for the beer-making kit you gave me? Didn't need them -- I figured it out for myself. Drink up."

'What distinguishes man from the lower animals is the ability to make tools.'

Organic Soldering.

"I think I've fixed the intercom. Just remember to speak into the ceiling fan when the doorbell rings."

CLEAR!

"I couldn't find the phone charger, but I was able to locate all the mouses the kids lost over the years."

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

The Small Business Advisor: 'The first bit of advice I'd give you for your garage start-up is to tell your dad'

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

"I'd like my daughter to know something about engines."

Jenkins took special pride in his new invention, the rubberband-powered runabout.

'Yes, folks, the victim was a bolt. Now, I'm afraid, he's a deadbolt.'

"Dad's at that awkward age when he knows just enough about computers to really screw 'em up!"

'My husband thought he could save money by repairing it himself.'

"Have you been fiddling with the cuckoo clock again, Tony?"

'I've run your letter through the word processor several times, sir, but it just keeps getting worse.'

'It's a kit I found online. I converted the car so it runs entirely on chicken manure.'

"Forget it – we're not buying some expensive sex robot for it to end up unused in the garage with the massaging armchair and the rowing machine."

Innovate or die.

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.

'Hi Terry. Quick question about that new gearbox you put in my Polo last week.'

"That's the last time I ask you to fix anything around here!"

"If the jumper cables don't work, I'll pour more motor oil on the keys."

"Do you realise you're getting addicted to brake fluid?" "Yes, but I can stop anytime."

Receiving the early-morning T-mail.

'Help me, sir... I want to save my last sip of lemonade, but it doesn't work!'