Game Show Producer Gifts

Remember, one of my doors will always be open for you...you just have to guess the correct one.

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Showbiz Awards

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Working in the Hazard Zone!

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

Applause

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

The First Annual Game Show Week.

"It's basically the 'Tragedy of King Lear' but with animated penguins."

Canadian film production

Can't Touch This

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

Little Red Riding Carpet

Senior Jeopardy!

Next camera crew 5 mins

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

"Not fair! Being really into movies is my thing!"