Game Rule Aficionado Gifts

'Stan, wait!... Wrong game!'

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

Dr Ed Henderson demonstrates that it IS possible for someone to become too familiar with the safety rules.

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

"Mam? What's love juice?"

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'

'Out. How come?' - 'Off side.'

'... Because it's the law! That's why!'

At last he had found the Regulatory Guidelines.

'There really is no need for confusion. Rule 10, section 5, article a, subsection 3, exception 4 quite clearly states ... '

'-and remember,under any circumstances, NO extra time!'

"No Bald Games"

'Oh for Pete's sake. This ain't nuclear science, gentlemen. I'll read it one more time, but pay attention... 'the infield fly rule is in effect if there is less than two outs and runners on first and second'...'

'Well, you're right, you're not touching the ball with your hands, so the Ref can't penalize you...'

'Upon further review, the ruling on the field is upheld. The catch was totally constitutional. Touchdown!'

"It may not be a balk, but it's something."

Guest Houses.

Football will be penalised...

'That does it... Now I'm definitely going to become a lawyer.'

'Oh, that place...? we shut that down AGES ago!'

'Have you hammered out the new rule book yet?'

"He's got whistleblower written all over him."

Football foul (red card).

Being a stickler for rules, Howard refuses to act until his motion has been seconded.

'... 'Pickoff'?... No... 'Ground out'? ... No...'

'Great, you can start Monday.. remember, NO BLUE JEANS.'

'Remember, no hitting below the belt.'

"I pulled my mask down for five seconds to sip coffee."

'He likes to keep strict control.'

'All dogs must be on leashes.'

'Underarm. . . underarm!'

'Just a reminder, gentlemen. It's 4 downs today, not 5.'

'I tried shooing. What's our policy on swatting?'

'Excuse me, sirs, I think the penalty is enforced from the succeeding spot.'