Game Host Gifts

"It's a sign of the times - I get death threats just calling the numbers."

"Ironically, this is the living room."

Showbiz Awards

"I told you playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey was a dumb idea."

'It's one of Larry King's earliest shows.'

Little league world series of poker.

'How about a game of cards?'

Some card-game puns

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

Perils of the double play.

Great moments in art dogs playing poker, cats playing Pictionary,

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

"I'm Lester Holt, and this, is date night."

"Sorry, that's not my table."

Senior Jeopardy!

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

Vanna White: The Later Years.

Everyone agrees: Aunt Juanita needs a man.

Coming up: Bush and Kerry will debate on 'saturday night live'...and whoever gets the most laughs will be the winner.'

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

'We're drinking to our round of golf...one shot at a time.'

Pirate playing pool using his artificial leg as a pool stick.

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

"... And in Canada today ... nothing happened."

"The official measure of an inch is three iPhones stacked on top of each other."

'We'll have to end it there, I'm sorry - we're running out of time.'

"No, you can't have a raise. You didn't say, 'mother, may I'."

"I’ll have something for you as soon as Table Seven sees the entrée prices."

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

'Checkmate I think!'

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

"My client greatly regrets the incident with the carving knife. However, in her defense, 14 people were coming for Thanksgiving and her husband, who had just one job to do, bought only 8 rolls."

'I'll try to keep my remarks brief.'

'Tea minus one hour thirty minutes and ten seconds.'