Gambling Chuckler Gifts

Clancy: Women and Horse-Racing

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

"My new year resolutions were to continue eating, drinking, smoking and gambling...and I've stuck to all of them!"

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

'Everyone's a stand-up comic these days.'

Rudolph unblocking a chimney

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

School janitor empties numbers out of math room waste basket.

'The cat does like having something to scratch.'

"Someone should tell her...her breath will smell bad after this."

'Time's up, chuckles.'

'So that's 60 minutes, room 4 with Sally, and will you be taking our standard resuscitation insurance?'

"I keep getting into a flap."

"He says masks are mandatory to enter. Should we try the other place instead?"

Yoga - moooooooo.

"...nineteen, twenty. Ready or not, here I come!"

"He thinks you're playing fetch."

'I'm not sure, but I think illegal gambling is when you WIN.'

Merry Christmas

'No presents, children, because know it all Santa lost all the money on 'Christmas Cracker' in the 2.30 at Haydock.'

Kenny Rogers Laundromats: We know when to fold 'em."

'Forget the golf. I just got a nibble!'

Billy strip: dad doesn't get to shuffle the horses.

'This coupon has expired, sir, and so have you.'

"Will you help me round up my 38 sheep?" Yes, 40.

'I like being last in line. That way, I'm the last fool to part with his money.'

'You've got yellow fever, so we're painting the room to match your body.'

"Are you sure you've got sufficient funds in your account to cover this cheque?"

"Is it true, cows have four stomachs?"

Casino. Don

"It's bad enough we males have to sit on the eggs, but now I'm even starting to have hot flashes!"

'I had a bad day at the bookies-and you?'

"You never know until you try!"

"100 to 1 I don't last the course!"

"First the good news. You'll never have to worry about identity theft."