Gambling Humor Lovers Gifts

Casino. Don

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

'OK Mr and Mrs Johnson let's spin the wheel and find you a child!'

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

Gambling on office building construction

"My new year resolutions were to continue eating, drinking, smoking and gambling...and I've stuck to all of them!"

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

"Oh boy! I've won the- "

"He's been up all night and fell asleep at the wheel."

"Would you please come with us, Sir?!"

'Ere Bert, what do I do with a lady who wants an each way bet on the boat race?'

Man sees sign on betting shop door listing odds on when the proprietor will come back from lunch.

You need to start formulating a plan to secure your financial future.

'...here are this week's lucky fur balls.'

'The cat does like having something to scratch.'

Inventing the roulette wheel.

'My office is boarded up. Why do I get the feeling my boss is still made at me for beating him at poker over the weekend.'

'Don't laugh - it paid out more than 18 grand last week.'

'Hang on a minute, Mother...why does your care plan include me 'popping to the bookies' for you?'

Wedding Coin Tosser

"No point buying our ticket here - the odds of them selling another big winner are ridiculous."

Gamblers Anonymous: 'Betcha I recover before you do.'

"I bet you $10 the next insect we catch is caught in Sector 5..."

'-and make sure you back one to lose THAT shirt on!'

"No, it's not some new wearable tech."

When government depends on state lottery: Playing the lottery is lots of fun and a great investment plan!

Slug roulette.

"Psst ... it's your bookie."

IRS AUDIT DIVISION, 'Want to make it double or nothing?'

"Why don't you try a different style of gambling? Like Russian roulette."

-"It would have been a photo finish..." -"Yes, but by the time our horse got there it was too dark for a photo!"

Casino - We never lose.

'What am I going to do now that I've won the lottery? Stay in the contracting until it runs out.'