Gallows Humor Junkie T-Shirts

Grim Reaper in Surgery.

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

He was different from the other doctors. For one thing, he refused to play God.

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

Save Our Universe

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"Without question the funniest patient I’ve ever lost."

"Don’t you think it’s about time you stopped insisting on your uncle Bill being here for Christmas?"

'Hi, I'm Dr.Jones. Sorry about my little prank, but it saves us a fortune in enemas.'

"I feel terrible admitting this, but I'm sort of glad he's dead. One less thing to keep track of."

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

"We have a favor to ask."

"Dig deep! C'mon! You got this!"

"And the hiring committee was very impressed with your no nonsense attitude during the interview."

Chicken Funeral Planning.

"Oh, don't mind me..I'm a little early. Just go about your business...pretend I'm not here.

"I love it when they come with warning labels."

"Wait, what?"

"So laughter isn't the best medicine..."

"A modest proposal: Why not arm the Trump administration for their own safety?"

"Well, if you don’t want to discuss exposure, drowning or sharks, what do you want to talk about?"

"Just between you and me, he was a road kill."

'This had better be important, I'm in the middle of a conference call!'

'Sorry, we're shorthanded - please pass over the scalpel...'

'If I hear one more person say 'Just a little of the top' I'm going to lose it!'

"There, there. Try to remember how much he annoyed you."

Finish Line

Man in the stocks on his typewriter.

"We need 6 last meals over at table 9."

'It's not that I'm afraid of dying, Doctor... It's just that I don't want to be there when it happens!'

"What a pro."