Gallows Humor Seeker T-Shirts

'Don't worry -- he's a trained professional.'

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

Invasion Of The Summer Aliens

'Fetch.'

Due to his low center of gravity, Jake is the greatesr broncbuster ever!

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

A sheep dog has stacked the sheep four high - 'He used to be with the circus before he came to the farm...!'

'Been Away?' A piece of bread looks at a piece of brown toast as if it's got a suntan.

Transylvanian backpackers.

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

The Runaway Horse

Giraffe Umbrella

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

A caveman paints from life

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

Figures from 'Ascent of Man' diagram all do the Conga: 'Let's all fo the Conga, na-na-na-na ...'

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

"I'm just here to pick up some bagels."

National Everything Awareness Day

He was different from the other doctors. For one thing, he refused to play God.

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

Dragon Hair-dryer.

The inhabitants of the jungle get tied up in rush hour traffic.

"Hey! Where's that black cat? My ride's ready!"

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."