Gallery Grinner T-Shirts

'See the way his eyes follow you round the room? That's how you knows he's good at portraits.'

Larry's used art

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

Culture Saturday

"Well....I could've done this!"

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

Misunderstood artist

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

'Wow...Your work is amazing!'

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

'Some days I just feel so stuck in a rut that I wish I'd never been invented!'

'I could do that.'

'I had no idea Ikea had been around so long.'

Cats at private view

Rodin's Browser

Jackson Pollock: abstract; Picasso: cubism; Bobby: eight year old

"I was going to call it 'Empty Plinth', but then I settled on 'Winter's Smile'...I wanted to capture the 'nothingness' of an 'absence of anything'..."

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

'I just love this work from his macaroni period,'

Children's Art Show.

The Rise of Modern Art

"Now this I get."

'From an aesthetic perspective, it has heart, beauty and intrigue, but is it a viable process design?'

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

'Wow, talk about genius!'

'It's not easy painting hummingbirds.'

'What do you suppose he's trying to say?'

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

I love Museum Shops

Rodin's Cattle-Grid

I painted them all from memory.

"A wise choice sir! Aah. . . Da Vinci - a genius of the Renaissance and a man who changed the face of art forever! Would you like that as a bookmark, a pencil sharpener or a fridge magnet. . . ?"

M.C. Escher Exhibit Upstairs.

Baby vandalizes an art gallery.

Sold! For £42,000 to the... No wait - it's the wrong way round!