Galactic Procrastinator Gifts

"Last dunk and then we need to do work."

"It's OK to close tabs. Just click on it. Once you realize that you don't need that many open, it'll get easier. You can do this!"

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

Travelogue

"I thought you said I needed to get some 'extra size'."

'1001 things to do whilst waiting to get on the internet.'

'So how do you manage such a close shave?' 'Simple,i wait till the very last second.'

"This next song's from the soundtrack to the film of the book I never got around to writing."

'A cyber-terrorist stole my homework. I have a note from the CIA. '

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

Gym. I don't need to exercise --- I have an ab crunch on my smart phone!

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

Al, The Go-From Guy

"Shouldn't you be studying?

'Hey, boss, what's a 7 letter work starting with 'w' that represents what I should be doing rather than solving crossword puzzles?'

Invaders from Planet Manava.

"Get dressed and sculpt something already."

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

'Work's the greatest thing on earth... so I'm saving some up for tomorrow!'

'I would have had these reports done sooner, but someone rolled a ball with a bell inside it into my cubicle.'

"A 15 page 'to do' list is a 'don't do' list."

Holiday Shopping for Guys

List of things to do today. Make list of things to do tomorrow.

"Thanks for coming in on the weekend....although let's admit it, you took a nap at your desk that happened to last all night..."

'It's almost time to get the cross-country skis out and dust them off.'

I was a day late and a dollar short, but it was a personal best!

Trust your instinct...listen to that little haunting voice that gives you subtle messages...'call in sick.'

'Do excuse Ed's immobility - he's being regulated.'

"How about fashionably never?"

"The pastor can't be disturbed. He's preparing for Sunday's service."