Galactic Gherkin Opener T-Shirts

Is removing the lid fm a jar of pickles easier in zero gravity?

The Lost World: You are Here

'No not there. Let's try it over here this time...'

'It's not so much the distance to your proposed house site, but that I'm not familiar with your planet's building codes.'

"I've been supporting life for billions of years! You'd think they'd be supporting themselves by now!"

Questions

Astronaut grilling on the moon and watching his sausage fly.

Hysterically laughing monster.

'Scientists agree the universe is expanding - Mendenhall is trying to find out where the financing is coming from.'

"Send for a Prftgxrgplwtkn interpreter - case adjourned for a thousand light years."

Celestial Navigation

'All this knowledge going into my head, through my eyes and out the window to float forever in space.'

"There's nothing like a dame!"

"I bought my wife a diamond planet"

"Hey, everybody! Come, look! the odometer is about to roll over another 100,00 light years!"

'And people wonder why we're searching for intelligent life.'

Confusing directions,

'We don't settle for second best... And Bleargh here is the best in the galaxy.'

"Ig a skyscraper collapses in the cit and I don't hear it...will we care?"

An astronaut with a little alien drilling into his helmet.

'I assume you have paper work to back up all these time travel business expenses.'

Neil Armstrong 1930-2012.

A man doing a reality check.

'She's behaving just like an adult.'

"These humans are very primitive, some of them still judge each other on the basis of their skin pigmentation."

New evidence from Curiosity; Martian blood likely to be green.

"I've absorbed all matter within my gravitational pull. I should be happy..."

"I'd love to chat, Al, but I've got to hit the road."

Troops Deployed To An Alien Planet

I'm putting together a group to go to a minor league baseball game this week. So? I'd like a big group. More people means more yelling at the opposing team. And? Don't make me ask directly. Ask or I won't go. Go with us. In the form of a question, supplicant!

Random things I miss: Deciding on a holiday

You can make adventure happen

"My existence is a gray area."

Football Spaceship

"But I take it a canoe trip along the lower Amazon does not appeal."