Galactic Fund-seeker T-Shirts

'Scientists agree the universe is expanding - Mendenhall is trying to find out where the financing is coming from.'

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

'Let's give it five more minutes. If they haven't eased up on the lasers by then, we'll have to postpone the game.'

It is said there is a black hole in the middle of the galaxy. But heaven knows what it looks like!

"Oh well, at least it's not Earth."

Rocket.

We've got to move closer to work. These 200 light year commutes are killing me.

Big Bang For Your Buck Investments...Specializing in space technology.

"Good news. Your medical prognosis is right in sync with your retirement portfolio."

"After spending thirty years creating models of early universe formation, I began to suspect that my work didn't make a shred of difference."

'You just can't win. I'm getting charged a ridiculous service fee, since we're in an outer stellar market, using a non-galaxy ATM machine!'

"The best place to make black hole discoveries is in the bedroom."

'Take me to your feeder,'

'What do you think of the new Mars Mover I just ordered from The Whole Mars Catalogue?'

"Yeah, OK! You surrender. We get it. That's great. Now who's in charge around here? Hello? Yoo-hoo."

'Agreed. We fund only those proposals we can understand.'

"Send for a Prftgxrgplwtkn interpreter - case adjourned for a thousand light years."

'Worldcon' - financial statement fraud exposed.

Desert Planet

"Gosh, it's hot in Roswell!"

"Take us to a cool, out-of-the-way leader real locals go to."

"Occupied" - Man urinating in space

Astronaut plants flag and deflates the moon.

'The financial advisor is here.'

Some domestic cats will roam further than others.

Recalculating!

'If anybody's gotta go, this is the time to speak up.'

"Captain, can you come to the transporter room please?!"

Astronaut

'Houston, we have a problem.'

Branson space shot

"Greetings! We come in peace and seek only a meaningful relationship."