Galactic Economist T-Shirts

'You just can't win. I'm getting charged a ridiculous service fee, since we're in an outer stellar market, using a non-galaxy ATM machine!'

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

Big Bang For Your Buck Investments...Specializing in space technology.

"I hear the Universe is expanding - set up a meeting with their people."

"I've been supporting life for billions of years! You'd think they'd be supporting themselves by now!"

Questions

'...And you're always complaining about the government's international trade agreements'

"Lucky for you, you died during a bear market."

Euro against the Dollar.

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

'This should succeed...it's not aimed at anything.'

"This 'laying up treasures in heaven' thing - Is it some kind of tax dodge or what?"

"Do you think it's a form of greeting?"

'It was definitely a bang. You heard it, I heard it, end of discussion.'

TTIP

"We use the proceeds to help offset the cost of your eternal salvation."

'I invest in emerging markets.'

Branson space shot

'Houston, we have a problem.'

'If the Sun doesn't explode in five billion years, do you realize how foolish we'll look?'

"Well. . . the cost of living was getting too high, so. . ."

'The U.S. Treasury announced today that the federal deficit will no longer be measured in 'trillions' of dollars, but in 'light-years'.'

'Ladies and gentlemen, the party's over.'

"I'd like to explore the futures market."

TPP

'If the universe is expanding, shouldn't we invest?'

'The only part of the universe which isn't expanding is the budget for this place.'

'And people wonder why we're searching for intelligent life.'

You called me, boss? Yes. I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we've found. I want you to stop doing that. At least until I'm done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don't need any competitors driving up the prices. Very bad man. When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing.

'Bugger!'

"Our funding has gone into a black hole."

Neil Armstrong 1930-2012.

Space force clocks.

"Our dark energy bill is through the roof, the stores are out of dark matter, and all our strange matter is being recalled! What in great galaxies is going on?"