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Mother Nature

Apples for sale

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

Cat statues on entrance gate

Rape of the Lock- The Dream

"Does my bum look big in this aria?"

Aliens with abducted person look at a suggestion box.

Storm in a magic lamp.

"No one summons me anymore. They all have oil."

'Let me guess - you lost a fight against a young challenger who has now replaced you as the company's alpha male!'

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

A Newton's cradle wrecking ball.

Newton's vacation

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

The Soundness of Newton's Laws

'Now watch our sales increase.'

A divided world.

'There goes another one. Galileo, don't you have any idea what makes them do that?'

"I really wanted to get you off but I didn't want to make a mockery of Justice."

Cosa Nostradamus: "Listen, you mook. I predict if you don't pay the vig to the Don by tonight you'll be at the bottom of the Hudson by morning."

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

Macho man body building club.

"I want to make a wish, but the problem is that this genie apparently does not speak English."

'After counsel said, 'You did it', the defendant said, 'Did not', followed by a, 'Did too'. . .'

"And for my third wish I want a further three!"

"Your third wish should have been to make the first two wishes tax free."

'Rubbing it no longer produces a genie. Now you need a username, password and an unreadable CAPTCHA.'

'I can grant you 3 wishes as long as none of them are about getting up on the furniture.'

Earl was obviously distressed, as he recounted under hypnosis how aliens had abducted him, and had their tax inspectors thoroughly examine his books.

'You've haed the eye exam. Now buy the t-shirt!'

"I need a transfer from the wind tunnel departmnet please."

Optician: 'I can't seem to switch off.'

"I wish I could give you a pay rise, a bonus, and an extra week of vacation, but..."