Gadget-loving Parishioner Prints

"I have sent you all an e-mail of today's text if you wish to follow along."

1 Only Smart Hammer Instructions

'It's not as picturesque as the old steeple but it's saving a fortune in electricity bills!'

"So no bases are uncovered, Sister Ann gives the sermon to the deaf and Brother Brooks blogs it."

"Sorry. My phone is on vibrate."

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

Follow God On Twitter

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

The mobile -priest was keen to use modern technology to 'keep in touch' with his parishioners!

'We beseech thee oh Lord, tweet us they word.'

'All the guys like Sophie. She has a touch screen.'

'They gave me this new cubicle with my own water fountain, treadmill, lunch dish... hey, wait a minute!'

"I'm afraid he's not much fun in the evenings. He's solar powered."

'Our church funds seem to be in the computer cloud of unknowing.'

Priest's computer screen reads: 'e-confession. Please type 10 Hail Marys ... and no cut'n'paste ...'

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

"He didn't mean on Twitter."

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

"Please select hymn number 637 on your i-pods."

"You may need to pep up your sermons, sir. Some of the members are requesting WIFI in the pews."

"Sorry, but the Wi-Fi password is for tithing church members only."

Church Sign Asks If You Are Prepared for Digital Conversion.

Why you need to be specific with a G.P.S.: 'You have arrived at the most exciting destination of your life...'

Monk Synth Bell Ringers

'How many more days until we let them know it's just a joke?'

'You didn't hear me say my prayers because I texted them.'

"All that's left is to monetize it."

'Do you mind? I'm trying to read.'

'It will be nice to have the words of my sermon there but it could be distracting to run football scores ... '

'When pastors take sports analogies too far...'

Like it? It's the new executive toy!

'What do you mean 'IamThePope.com' is already taken?!? By who!?!'