Gadget Lover's Humor Pillows

Coming Soon: The G.P.S. for Conversations

"You created a robot to do your homework for you? Apparently, laziness is the mother of invention."

Haircuts

"String ... you mean it doesn't have a remote controller to operate it?"

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

I have an idea - Let's sit around the campfire and watch scary movies on our iPads!

"I have an imaginary friend called Fred, and my dad has one called Alexa."

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

Mouse in a hamster wheel.

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

'Hey...remember T.V.?

"I got a swiss army hook!"

'In my time, we didn't talk to a blackberry. We just ate the damn things!'

"Careful. That house has a taser."

'This computer has a fast modem, the latest Pentium, increased RAM, a huge hard drive and broadband connections. Only one problem...slow pointer fingers.'

'Mom! This high resolution screen makes it seem like you're really outdoors!'

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

'This is suppose to be progress.'

'My new cellphone has a 'self-help' program...'

'You know, you can do this all online now.'

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

"Isn't there an app for this?"

"You'll have to excuse my Stuart. He's just showing off his new drill.

"This isn't Dublin. It's not even Ireland. Repeat after me, dear: 'I'll never buy a second-hand sat nav as a bargain again.'"

"I didn't know they made a 'Sitbit'"

Minion, I've noticed several of the patrons are working on their laptops, tablets and phones. Yeah, that's what people do in cafes, boss. Are you aware, minion, that states and municipalities regularly tax people who conduct business within their borders? I don't see why the state should have a monopoly on taxation. Do you, minion? Inform the patrons they've missed the cafe's April 15th filing deadline, so there will be penalties. If the government can be "We the People," Armstrong Maynard can b

Having moved to a tablet, the farmer's wife was done with mice. . .

It tells you the time? That's all it does? Well, isn't that just the cutest little thing?

"We've got the same ringtone!" (Two guys opening ring pull drinks cans).

'You just couldn't wait to try out the new Jet Ski before we got up to the lake, could you?'

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

Robot surgery.

"I think retrieving the info from that harddrive might be a little tricky."

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."