Future Smeller Pillows

Nostrildamus.

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

'I can't wait 'til hunting is googling and gathering is calling out for delivery.'

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

Totalitarian Humour

"We come from the future and just want to say: Hey, thanks for the planet!"

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

"Hello - I'm from the future..."

Olympic Climate

"Meeting old relatives...is like peeking into our future."

Paw readings

Today, a special retro segment of The Fad Herald. It's the Fad Herald. Off the hook! Hey jive turkeys, here's what's not cool: Fossil fuels, dependence on Mideast oil, long gas lines. Here's what's groovy: Solar power, alternative fuels, energy independence. Can you dig? The world is changing, baby! Instead of solar panels, I'm buying a sweet 8-track player. Next week, a look ahead to 2040. What's out: Waiting in long lines to fill up the spacecraft with gas.

"I see a girl, I see a marriage, I see her not understanding you, I see a beer belly. Do you want me to go on?"

"My father was a Brexit negotiator and his father before him..."

'It's Blurred.'

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

'But if you want the real lowdown, we'll need some of your DNA.'

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

They say animals have the sixth sense and the talent to look into the future...

'I can't say what the market's going to do, but you're going to have fourteen children.'

'Before we begin, let me see what my fortune cookie says.'

'Come off it-she only said the guys will be fighting over us because you said we lived UNDER a boxing club!'

'I really don't know how you got here with your life line!'

Ill next Thursday

"It called a smart phone. Cool, but no service."

'We programmed it to simulate living conditions in the year 2000, and it's become hysterical.'

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."

"I know I'm going to get older - but how much?"

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

'You say you're having trouble seeing into the future'