Future Relaxer Pillows

'Looking forward to your retirement, Campbell?'

"Ahhh... close enough."

STRIP Hambone: Businessman in hospital with his computer

Chillaxing!

"For heaven's sake lighten up, Roger! You're supposed to be on holiday."

'Now, dear, I spent 35 years pretending to look busy. I can't just quit overnight!'

"Your blood pressure is too high. Take two of these."

"First break since 1996!"

"What's wrong?"

'I've still got the fire in my belly, but for the next two weeks I'm solar powered.'

'But boss, this will keep my muscles from getting fatiqued.'

"I can't stop thinking about all those available parking spaces back on West Eighty-fifth Street."

"Sometimes I stop to think and forget to start again."

"Have you ever tried buying lots of stuff?"

"My husband hid my laptop to stop me working on vacation."

'I'm sure looking forward to relaxing when we get to the summit.'

Lazy dog.

"Sure, I had a retirement plan. Stop going to work"

'How's the executive training program, going?'

His entire life was about balance.

'Monday morning feeling? But it's thursday!'

"Sidney gets nervous if he's too far from his money."

'My husband has retired from the bench.'

'The best part of growing old is not having to invest for the long term.'

"Since Frank retired two years ago, he's been on the alert for some long-dormant artistic talent to develop."

"Have you ever thought about dropping a few pounds, dear?"

'He unwound on his vacation and never wound up again!'

"You can leave the rat race – but they always find you."

Legalization of marijuana

"I'm thinking of installing some strobe lights to make it look like he's moving."

"You never had to learn to relax, did you Fred?"

Speakers on holiday.

'Retirement became more tolerable when I installed this water cooler.'

'I used to fly south - that was before hot tubs!'