Future Seer Pillows

'You say you're having trouble seeing into the future'

'I see weapons of mass destruction!'

'I will now peek into your future, David...'

"You've lived many lives, all as an accountant."

Nostradamus.

'I see you sitting in front of your TV...'

"Do you have your pin number for the next year at the ready?"

"I can't predict when you'll die. The best I can do is tell you when your gym membership runs out."

"I see you sitting at your computer. Now you are opening up your email. You see a strange email with an attachment. Don't open it! Oh no, what have you done?"

"This would have been helpful before creating Earth."

"Hola! Tia Carmen's psychic hotline! Can I tell you where your lousy cheating boyfriend is right now?"

Ill next Thursday

Garg saw the future, but didn't quite know what to do with it.

Fortune Teller

'All signs point to yes.'

Early psychics.

'Not that sort of palm reading!'

Psychic knew woman was coming.

'I might also mention, that hiring me would be a fulfillment of prophecy.'

'Mr Henry Yomp- this is Myrna, the TV psychic, and for only $3.99 a minute, have I got news for you! '

A Fortune-teller clicking on her mouse attached to her crystal ball.

'I have to be careful of what I say around here. Someone's always looking over my shoulder.'

'I see a new Tesco store is always a good standby.'

Fortune teller sees sun in snowman's future.

"I see you dropping something and then returning to me very soon."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

"I've always wanted an empire of Distance Learning Campuses."

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

Totalitarian Humour

Card Reader in PC Supplies Store.