Seer Of Futures Pillows

"Your fortune will be fifty pounds lighter when you leave this room."

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

"See? A huge surge in all the major crowdfunding sites right before the Big Bang!"

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

"We do have faith but I'm afraid our policy is still not to accept Bitcoin."

"Something will fall down from the sky and it will be the end of the world - just because you didn't eat all of your carrion for lunch, my boy!"

"What the hell happened to this town?"

'I used to trade in futures until I learned the planet doesn't have one.'

Ill next Thursday

Catastrophe Risk Insurance

'You say you're having trouble seeing into the future'

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"

"This one's really scary. It's about what's happening to my 401k."

Nostradamus.

"Give it to me straight, doc. Will I outlive social security and medicare?"

Garg saw the future, but didn't quite know what to do with it.

'I will now peek into your future, David...'

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

'My father carried this sign before me, as did his father before him.'

Poll: The World Will End With: Nuclear War, Global Warming, Assault Weapons.

"Come climate change, you could find yourself sitting beach-front on the French riviera."

"Let's wrap it up. I'm getting a leg cramp."

"Someday, God willing, they'll bring the stars down to our eye level so we don't have to strain our necks."

'Give it to me straight, Doc, what are the chances of a recession?'

"I see a wild celebration...I see music, dancing, much food and revelry! . . . I see - oops!! Sorry....wrong party."

"I'd like to explore the futures market."

"I see you dropping something and then returning to me very soon."

I'm absolutely worn out. I've been unloading pig-iron all day.

'Excited by the quarterly report?'

"Do you accept credit card?"

Psychic: Palm reading, tarot, and lost and found.

When psychics fight.

'I'm worried - she insisted on closing every one of her accounts while she waited...'

"Hola! Tia Carmen's psychic hotline! Can I tell you where your lousy cheating boyfriend is right now?"