Financial Futurologist Pillows

'No one is buying our plummeting shares at the stock market, so Pumroy found a way to sell our toxic assets on Ebay.'

Economic Forecasting

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

'He's refusing to die as a protest against Inheritance Tax.'

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

"Well, Comstock, still regret putting our profits back into research?"

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

'Are we broke yet?'

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

"I just..."

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

'The recession is over, again.'

"Genius is 1% inspiration, 99% budget allocation."

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

"See? A huge surge in all the major crowdfunding sites right before the Big Bang!"

Woman at a desk with in out boxes marked Market Up Market Down.

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"It's going to require a great deal of money."

"You will be visited by three ghosts - the Ghost of Porfolios Past, The Ghost of Present Positions and the Ghost of Commodities Future."

'We're a non-profit organisation. We didn't plan it that way, but that's how it worked out.'

An Everyday Explanation of the Federal Budget.

"We do have faith but I'm afraid our policy is still not to accept Bitcoin."

'The market shifted on me.'

'Looks like we'll have to break into the piggy bank to find our endowment funding.'

Reverse Mortgage.

'I use my Blackberry all the time to check the competition's executive bonuses.'

"Unfortunately the first thing they cut was the stationery budget..."

The IRS emptied my pouch.

The Problem with World Population Growth

"Let's use the dog's prescription. His refills are cheaper."

Davos.

Bio, Inc. Should we continue to invest in this promising new cloning technique? Yeah, let's double down on it.