Financial Future Enthusiast Pillows

"Don't worry! So instead of 90, you'll retire at 97."

'I got that, Ms. Rafferty... now can we get on to student loans?'

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Profit

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

'We're under capitalized. As soon as we reach the break even point we'll buy a lemon.'

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

Gerry, there are more accurate ways of balancing the petty cash.

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

Desk plaques: 'Money isn't everything' '...Which makes it no less awesome in my opinion.'

"#Win!"

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

Shop struggles to sell books about recession: '90 per cent off on all credit crunch books' (Titles incluude: Beat the Crunch! Who's to Blame? We're all Doomed!)

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

'He's downgrading the credit agencies.'

'And finally, there is the universal solution.'

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

World Economic Crisis.

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

'Not bad, Ms. Newborn. But take another crack at it, and this time remember that 'earnings-per-share' is the alter upon which all other numbers are sacrificed.'

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

'So, gentlemen, how's the dollar trading against the immortal soul, today?'

'A short economics test - if you bought something for