Future Finance Guru Pillows

'You say you can't afford to raise my allowance -- could I please see the books?'

Minor credit cards accepted.

'I'm going to scare people. I'm going to work IRS!'

'We need a bailout.'

"And this financial plan is specifically designed for people who know their retirement -- IF they get one -- won't be half as good as their parents' retirement, and are really steamed about it!"

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

The president's men

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

"Helen brings home our second, third and fourth incomes."

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

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'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

'If you're so smart, why don't you have some Index Funds in your portfolio?'

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

The best financial decision I ever made.

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

'Let's just wait here until the federal stimulus returns.'

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

The economy.

"Hoskins, try saying 'profits are up' without the finger quotes, okay?"

E.U. Banking Union.

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

Wall Street Couch

'Plimbco Bank &Trust, Old Money Division.'

"We've called this special Stocholders meeting because we want all of our stock back."