Future Prankster Pillows

'I can't wait to embarrass him when he's a teenager.'

"I plan to retire when bank robbery becomes legal!"

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

A Guide to Balloon Animals

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

'Court's in recess!'

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

"They look like pickles."

'Sorry, miss. It seems to be stuck!'

"Now the geeks hold all the power. They're the ones who know how to forge a parent's e-signature."

Dog admiring hairless dog calendar

"Thanks—I got it off Amazon."

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

'Excuse me, I'm going to talk on the cellphone while pretending you're not here.'

Stupid Cupid.

"I just take Tommy's computer here and hit delete. I haven't eaten homework in years!"

'My imaginary playmate squealed on me!'

Computer operator welding machine.

'The man was real nice about it. He gave me my ball back and even said you can expect a nice call from his lawyer.'

The Amazing Mr Sausage

"We've run all the technical stuff and found the cause of the funny sound coming from your computer."

Poisson d'Avril!

'Looks like someone got their bags mixed up at daycare drop-off.'

Thank you for not making faces during teleconferences with the boss.

'It was self-defense - the clock struck first.'

Another reason why a high school diploma is not enough.

On a school trip to a museum, a child takes the head of a horse statue and runs through the museum with it.

'Ok...something, but nothing you'd care about. Honest!'

Semi-naked A stripped Semi-trailer Truck sunbathing by the pool naked

'I think the meeting went reasonably well until he threatened to call security.'