Future Parent Philosophers Pillows

'Still five months to go....what a time to discover I suffer from claustrophobia.'

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

TAP TAP TAP TAP

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

"One year closer to college!"

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

"You're welcome."

Coronavirus Impact on Children

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

"I don't know...sometimes I think I don't spend enough time with them. What kind of role model am I?"

"Mother nature sure is confusing...she gives me a clothes line but no clothes!"

"It's hard being a grownup, too – did you know we have absolutely zero limits on treats?"

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN! "It was mostly okay, but there's way too much micromanagement!"

"Never Again." (bird sitting on a giant egg).

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"What's an imagination? It was something kids used to enjoy before they invented video games."

Baby's First Words... Hi Guys!

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

"I'm not going to lie. It took a large speaker's fee to get me to say your future is bright."

Life after death

'OK Mr and Mrs Johnson let's spin the wheel and find you a child!'

"I never had to choose between a baby and a career—I'm a surrogate mother."

Baby, baby maker

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

"Life is beautiful, and it's messy."

'All dogs have 4 legs. Tabby has 4 legs. But I'm just a kid, so I don't have to think logically.'

"I went back to warn them, but they already knew and didn't seem to care."

"Dear Mum. As contractions begin I thank you for letting me share your uterus. When do I get my bond money back??"

"In the future, son, everyone will be an attorney for fifteen minutes."