Future Parent Philosophers Pillows

'Still five months to go....what a time to discover I suffer from claustrophobia.'

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

TAP TAP TAP TAP

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

"One year closer to college!"

Coronavirus Impact on Children

"You're welcome."

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

The Complete Book of Baby Names. Oooh, what do you think of 110101110110? Isn't that cute?

"I don't know...sometimes I think I don't spend enough time with them. What kind of role model am I?"

"Mother nature sure is confusing...she gives me a clothes line but no clothes!"

"It's hard being a grownup, too – did you know we have absolutely zero limits on treats?"

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

"Never Again." (bird sitting on a giant egg).

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN! "It was mostly okay, but there's way too much micromanagement!"

"What's an imagination? It was something kids used to enjoy before they invented video games."

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

"I never had to choose between a baby and a career—I'm a surrogate mother."

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

Baby, baby maker

Life after death

"I'm not going to lie. It took a large speaker's fee to get me to say your future is bright."

"Life is beautiful, and it's messy."

'OK Mr and Mrs Johnson let's spin the wheel and find you a child!'

Baby's First Words... Hi Guys!

'All dogs have 4 legs. Tabby has 4 legs. But I'm just a kid, so I don't have to think logically.'

"I went back to warn them, but they already knew and didn't seem to care."

"Dear Mum. As contractions begin I thank you for letting me share your uterus. When do I get my bond money back??"