Future Jockey Gifts

"I want to be a Jockey."

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

"Tour de Frank"

Rocking Horse

A day at the transgenic races

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"... And his piano teacher says that he definitely has Van Gough's ear for music."

Exercising

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

'Isn't it time you started thinking about cars instead of horsie rides?'

Violin Player

Gentlemen Riders

"Well, I'm just saying, buying me a cheap used car for graduation is not going to teach me responsibility."

"Whether they are his first words or not - E.V.'s do not make that sound!"

"To save enough money to buy my lowrider, I figure I need to keep my summer job for...10,734 days."

First past the post.

Bumpy Ride

Horse racing puns

'I need both hands for steering.'

"Did you see neighhhhhh...bours last night?"

'He has the Big Cheese on his side - But the High Muckity-Mucks will be with us.'

The Derby- Horse Auction at Tattersall's

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'

Advertising space on jockeys' bottoms

"This horse comes with all the hardware necessary to be fully autonomous."

Sporting maladies.

"I couldn't get a signal while I was at the mall. I can now relate to those songs that sing about the blues."

'I'm racing him in the 4.30.'

Stout gentleman: 'That's the way to get over a gate! I don't think you left me so far behind that time.'

Scientists discover a new Superbug

Sporting maladies.