Future High Roller T-Shirts

Student with armload of money in front of class: 'I won't be finishing school. You see, I spend my lunch hours over at the casino ...'

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

'Couldn't you just bring a bucket and spade like other children?'

'Okay...3.5 billion in stock, 2.5 billion in cash, 80 million in deferred compensation, my own private jet, a luxury car lease for the next ten years, 3 club memberships and...

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

"I need to increase my salary so I can increase my spending."

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

Olympic Climate

Paw readings

Today, a special retro segment of The Fad Herald. It's the Fad Herald. Off the hook! Hey jive turkeys, here's what's not cool: Fossil fuels, dependence on Mideast oil, long gas lines. Here's what's groovy: Solar power, alternative fuels, energy independence. Can you dig? The world is changing, baby! Instead of solar panels, I'm buying a sweet 8-track player. Next week, a look ahead to 2040. What's out: Waiting in long lines to fill up the spacecraft with gas.

'In the 20 minutes it took for the pit boss to come back with a comp for the $10 buffet, I lost another $500.'

"Meeting old relatives...is like peeking into our future."

Education and Apprenticeships

Casino. Keno. $$$. Win. Cashier. He sure wins a lot! He's "Keno Savvy."

"I see a girl, I see a marriage, I see her not understanding you, I see a beer belly. Do you want me to go on?"

'Don't worry, he'll soon grow into it.'

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

'It's Blurred.'

'But if you want the real lowdown, we'll need some of your DNA.'

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."

'We programmed it to simulate living conditions in the year 2000, and it's become hysterical.'

'I told you to not get Danny that Junior Carpenter set.'

Destination casinos...

'Before we begin, let me see what my fortune cookie says.'

'Come off it-she only said the guys will be fighting over us because you said we lived UNDER a boxing club!'

'I really don't know how you got here with your life line!'

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

'I need both hands for steering.'

New World Order

'I see a beautiful young woman. You're naked, she's leaning over you. Oh, wait. She's performing your autopsy! '

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'