Future Grandchild Gifts

"Grandma really used to enjoy photographing her butt in the mirror"

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

I should be a writer when I grow up...

Skipping Horse

Computer Room.

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

At the Museum

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

Football Fans

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

"You created a robot to do your homework for you? Apparently, laziness is the mother of invention."

Director/Action Man toy.

Wildlife

A young Don King

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'The creative process works best with a relaxed brain, so I'm letting my mind wander to let a solution drift in.'

'Remember only you can prevent forest fires.'

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'