Future-focused Investor T-Shirts

'Well, I suppose this means we should invest more in solar!'

Investment firm: National division/International Division/Universal Division.

"You called me, boss?" "Yes, I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we’ve found." "I want you to stop doing that." "At least until I’m done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don’t need any competitors driving up the prices." "Very bad man." "When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing."

The end is not near! (So adjust your retirement accounts accordingly).

'I have this fear of the real world...'

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

'I don't know if money grows on trees, son. I know it doesn't grow in fields.'

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

Artifishial Intelligence

A child runs an equity stand.

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

"If it's all the same to you, I'd like my allowance in bitcoins."

'This is where I keep my investment portfolio.'

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"See? A huge surge in all the major crowdfunding sites right before the Big Bang!"

"When I grow up I hope to get into data storage."

"We do have faith but I'm afraid our policy is still not to accept Bitcoin."

"I feel I'm doing fine. My sense of net worth is way up this quarter."

"We've decided to diversify our funds on some candy!"

'If you don't learn how to sign your name, you'll have to pay cash!'

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

"Stocks edged lower on the news there's more to life than the accumulation of material things..."

"I know your dad's a hedge fund manager, Amber, but you don't need a bigger piece of paper to draw a picture of your house."

Catastrophe Risk Insurance

"Want to trade banks with me?"

"To mediate properly, you need a mantra. How about 'Ka-Ching'?"

'I follow my dad's stocks so I know when to ask for an allowance increase.'

Natural gas

'...and help my parents to pick the right mutual funds in my portfolio for my education...'

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"

"This one's really scary. It's about what's happening to my 401k."

'We're going to take a financial risk.'

Wishful Thinking Magazine - circulation chart.

'He's so spoilt, he has his pocket money paid into a Swiss bank account.'