Future Baller Gifts

'I told my teacher I won't be returning to school...'

"Papi, when I grow up, I wanna be just like you!"

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

"College basketball recruiters are after him."

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

'Wow! That's some growth spurt!'

Exercising

The game is tied, and this is the final inning because the sun is setting. I understand, coach, I need to get home before dark!

The team video didn't spotlight my talents. I've hired my own film crew. They'll showcase my skills so college recruiters can see my strengths. Wow! How can the director pack so much into one little video? Great point! Daddy? Tell Steven Spielberg we're going feature length. Nice save!

"What do you want to be when you blow up?"

Take a bow!

Parents start infant on the way to fame.

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'Don't you know who I am?...I've decided to pursue a career as a celebrity, so I'm developing the basic language skills used in the industry.'

Future Wrestler

"If there is no more American Idol what am I going to do to become famous?"

'He'll be a great basketball player someday -- he already dribbles all over the place.

Bow

"I couldn't get a signal while I was at the mall. I can now relate to those songs that sing about the blues."

'He'll be a great basketball player someday -- he already dribbles all over the place.

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'When I grow up, if I don't become a pro basketball player, about about 'spin doctor'?'

'I can just see him twenty years down the road pitching for the Giants.'

'We're going to insist that he at least finish kindergarten before entering the NBA draft.'

'Play your best. There's going to be a scout for the ten year olds in the stands!'

'Not everyone can make it as a professional footballer!' 'I know dad, there are snooker and darts players...'

'Wow! Feel that kick! I'm buying him a football for his first birthday!'

I'm not worried about the economy. Me either! It's not like I'm going into banking, car manufacturing, or real estate. Totally! We'll still make the big bucks. May I ask doing what? Movie actress. Rock star. When you move to L.A., I'm not converting your bedroom.

"I like you kid, but you're really just a work in progress!"

"You should learn how to play the guitar. It'll give you something to fall back on."

'Follow your dreams unless of course, it involves dropping out of school to join a rock band.'

'Good Now stuff that round thing in the hoop,,,, That's basketball,'

Your brother's threatening to be a fat cat banker. Barf! I will do something socially useful with my life! That's my girl! When I'm a famous actress, I'll talk forcefully to "Entertainment Tonight" about my vegetarian diet! Maybe we should have had more children. Or non.