Furniture Renovation Gifts

'I sold the old lamp in the den on eBay. Then I thought, 'Do we really need this sofa?' Before I realized it, I'd made $4,700!'

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

Painting by the numbers for adults

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

'I found the termites!'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

"Something went wrong after you inserted tab A into slot B."

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"I think I perferred the plain magnolia"

Another All Steel Home Built By Wit Construction.

Frog to other frog: 'Hey, nice pad.'

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'

The Lion, the witch and the flat-pack self-assembly wardrobe: lion and witch putting a wardrobe together.

'Wow...Your work is amazing!'

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

"You're welcome."

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

Fittd shēt

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

'Never mind about buying that trampoline. I love your new bed!'

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

"See this area right here, honey? This is why we need to find someone who knows what they're doing."

"Everything you say (or don't say) matters. Choose your words and intentions carefully."

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'