Furniture Fixer-upper Fan Gifts

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

Bird collecting furniture for it's home.

'Seriously!? ... Well it's apparent I didn't marry a handyman.'

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

'Well, that's fixed that.'

'Brian's saved us a small fortune...making all our own furniture!'

'Hold on, Bob. I'm downshifting.'

"It's beautiful. I'm just not sure it's $800 beautiful."

'That's not what it looked like in the shop...' - 'It's near enough.'

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.

"Does it come with magnets?"

"Hmmm. Not sure it will go with my wife."

'Vice squad - you're busted.'

"Did we just paint the house or did it just paint us?!"

'Gurkenman! The fact that you've got a height-adjustable desk does not mean that you've been promoted into a higher position!'

'They had three puppies and four kids before me: It's almost impossible to find a piece of furniture that hasn't been chewed on...'

"You've done an absolutely fabulous job with the house, Anne, and Gordon's so improved!"

The Upholstery Consultant

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

"Larry made that chair from a pile of sticks."

'Love your renovations.'

"Renovating your bathroom?"

Moe's Fix-It Shop - No Heroic Measures

"This isn't a fixer upper. It's a down-and-outer."

"My meeting take away was this chair, what did you get?"

Smaller shoe being built onto a shoe house.

Well paid job

"If we remove the stalactites and replace some rocks, we could flip it for a profit."

"And what do you think will happen if you do get on the couch?"

'As you can see, it's a bit of an emergency.'