Furniture Fixer-upper Fan Gifts

Custer's last nightstand.

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

'Seriously!? ... Well it's apparent I didn't marry a handyman.'

Bird collecting furniture for it's home.

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

'Well, that's fixed that.'

'Brian's saved us a small fortune...making all our own furniture!'

'Hold on, Bob. I'm downshifting.'

"It's beautiful. I'm just not sure it's $800 beautiful."

'That's not what it looked like in the shop...' - 'It's near enough.'

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.

"Hmmm. Not sure it will go with my wife."

"You've done an absolutely fabulous job with the house, Anne, and Gordon's so improved!"

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

'Vice squad - you're busted.'

"Did we just paint the house or did it just paint us?!"

"Does it come with magnets?"

'They had three puppies and four kids before me: It's almost impossible to find a piece of furniture that hasn't been chewed on...'

The Upholstery Consultant

'Gurkenman! The fact that you've got a height-adjustable desk does not mean that you've been promoted into a higher position!'

"Larry made that chair from a pile of sticks."

'Love your renovations.'

"Renovating your bathroom?"

Moe's Fix-It Shop - No Heroic Measures

"My meeting take away was this chair, what did you get?"

Well paid job

Smaller shoe being built onto a shoe house.

"If we remove the stalactites and replace some rocks, we could flip it for a profit."

"This isn't a fixer upper. It's a down-and-outer."

"And what do you think will happen if you do get on the couch?"