Furniture Fan Pillows

"And what do you think will happen if you do get on the couch?"

Termite pick-up lines.

Caveman invents the wheel and uses it as a table.

Fur'niture

'Everything in the house is from Ikea. Including my husband, Dave.'

'I was born to rock.'

'Days until miminimalism is over and we can get our things out of storage...'

Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives.

A new chair for the 21st century, punctuated by a few ventilation apertures for that stylish new direction in mass seating.

How Chairs Have Sex

Woodpecker Carving Chair out of Tree.

'Hold on, Bob. I'm downshifting.'

'How come, whenever one of our relatives passes away, we get a new piece of furniture?'

'Gurkenman! The fact that you've got a height-adjustable desk does not mean that you've been promoted into a higher position!'

'Sit!'

Unfinished furniture store

'I hear your brother fell into an upholstery machine.'

Oooh! That's handy (Pulling draw out of chest).

'I wonder what kind of welcome we'll get on this planet?'

'I miss my water bed.'

"My meeting take away was this chair, what did you get?"

"I'll tell you what - you buy the sofa and the lounge chair, and I'll throw in our department manager for free!"

'Sorry Mr Pendragon. The only round table we have within your budget is this coffee table.'

'It has a bit that extends for entertaining.'

"Yoiks! Come winter it's back to the Ikea factory!"

"What have I told you about accepting suits from strangers?"

A Cross-dresser.

"This is our trainee model for incoming school administrators."

Bird collecting furniture for it's home.

"So, what brings you to the Catskills"

"Bring your own table."

"It's beautiful. I'm just not sure it's $800 beautiful."

"Hmmm. Not sure it will go with my wife."

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

The Lion, the witch and the flat-pack self-assembly wardrobe: lion and witch putting a wardrobe together.