Furnace Aficionado Gifts

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

"Do you want to suddenly decide we need a waffle maker?"

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

Finally! A cure for the common cold!

An assortment of vegetables in the form of Tables

Relaxing in front of a fire.

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

'This was designed for people who have mastered easy chairs and want to attempt something more difficult.'

Man and woman buying furniture.

Crane fishing

"It's been unanimously decided that we don't like this table. Could you show us another model?"

"Wow! The big guy! And what kind of B.T.U.s am I looking at here?"

"OK then, I admit it. Installing the log burner was a bad idea!"

Granny squashing cats tail with rocking chair

Santa Claus Poops on the Chimney of the world.

"This new dough-maker attachment is going to pay for itself in no time.'

Entertainment systems

"If history has taught us anything, it's taught us that there have been a ridiculous number of books written about history."

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

A Matryoshka dolls putting an oven in an oven

"My compliments to the can opener."

"All in favor of the old, uncomfortable chairs?"

Energy Conservation Be Damned. Fred constantly prepared for Global Warming and Nuclear Winter to happen at the same time.

'Just add eggs. That sounds easy.'

The man who discovered smoke

Microwave. Do you have any idea of the time pressure I'm under?

"To toast!"

"Does it come with magnets?"