Furnace Aficionado Gifts

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

"Do you want to suddenly decide we need a waffle maker?"

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

Finally! A cure for the common cold!

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

Man and woman buying furniture.

An assortment of vegetables in the form of Tables

Relaxing in front of a fire.

'This was designed for people who have mastered easy chairs and want to attempt something more difficult.'

"It's been unanimously decided that we don't like this table. Could you show us another model?"

Crane fishing

"Wow! The big guy! And what kind of B.T.U.s am I looking at here?"

"OK then, I admit it. Installing the log burner was a bad idea!"

Granny squashing cats tail with rocking chair

"My compliments to the can opener."

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

"This new dough-maker attachment is going to pay for itself in no time.'

"If history has taught us anything, it's taught us that there have been a ridiculous number of books written about history."

Entertainment systems

Santa Claus Poops on the Chimney of the world.

A Matryoshka dolls putting an oven in an oven

"All in favor of the old, uncomfortable chairs?"

'Just add eggs. That sounds easy.'

Energy Conservation Be Damned. Fred constantly prepared for Global Warming and Nuclear Winter to happen at the same time.

"To toast!"

'This one's got a mahogany finish, easy to assemble and comes with a magical kingdom as standard.'

"Does it come with magnets?"

"It sounds as if it's going to be three hours with our legs crossed in Frank Gehry chairs. You go if you want."