Fur Family Enthusiast Pillows

"Jessica Jo's white, Tucker's black, Tag's white, Pepper's red, Peekay is gray, Junie is gray, Jamie's brown – and, by the way, Jessica Jo is gifted."

'Honestly, now that Tiger is neutered I'm perfectly happy just cuddling.'

"I can't hear you. Are you playing with the dog again?"

"Foster failure"

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"No no, I said sit!!"

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

"A little help, please."

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

'Yes I know I'm intelligent and famous, but I'd trade it all for a good old belly scratching.'

Woman setting out a dinner party with name cards labeled cat person, dog person.

Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'

"Look, children are just pathetic substitutes for people who can't have pets."

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

'Cheryl, you are getting way too wrapped up in the dog.'

'That's our Rex - he loves to dog paddle.'

Fur Baby

"Well, if she didn't insist on giving me this stupid look, she wouldn't need to buy me coats in winter..."

Cat Zoom Meeting

"Your motivation is that you're a dog and it's food."

"Back when we got him, Rufus was a child substitute. Now he's just a dog."

'I do not pamper the dog, now get out of his chair!'

Upper East Side Dog Park

"It's a good boy!"

Cat and owner sticking out tongues at each other.

"I think it's unfair to call her a "crazy cat-lady": She just loves all 63 of us..."

"Congratulations. It's a litter."

Pet Adoptions

Hairy dog looks the same both ends.

Dogs are smart enough to understand human commands. Cats are smart enough to ignore them.

I hate these he shed, she shed cases.

"He's a rescue."