Fur Family Aficionado Pillows

"Foster failure"

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

"A little help, please."

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'

Woman setting out a dinner party with name cards labeled cat person, dog person.

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

'That's our Rex - he loves to dog paddle.'

"Well, if she didn't insist on giving me this stupid look, she wouldn't need to buy me coats in winter..."

'Honestly, now that Tiger is neutered I'm perfectly happy just cuddling.'

Dog Looks Alarmed At The Vets.

"I think it's unfair to call her a "crazy cat-lady": She just loves all 63 of us..."

Baskerville Tabby.

I hate these he shed, she shed cases.

"How adorable! I'd love to have one of my own but I'm so terribly allergic."

'You know, in dog years, five is the new three.'

'Are you here, Alfred?'

"I lick my fur and then rub against their legs. They think I'm being affectionate, but I'm actually just wiping cat spit on them."

"I can't hear you. Are you playing with the dog again?"

"She's a Malaysian Longhair, but we don't know what."

"The meaning of life is cats."

'Imagine that! You have hairball problems too?'

'I always keep him on a leash when I take him for a walk...'

'Sure, Dog Shows can be stressful, but I just love the time and attention Master gives me while preparing for them...'

"I don't see myself as just a dog. I see myself as a Complete Family Pet System."

"I'm afraid I've gotten dog hair all over you."

"Get out of that chair! Frank and Bernice will be here in an hour and I really don't want to spend half of that time cleaning cat hair off the furniture."

Cat Show - Sheds Most

'$200 for bladder stones? NOW I know what they meant by 'precious stones'!'

"Fool, I said a spotted one."

Fur'niture

Species: A single, distinct kind of plant or animal having certain distinguishing characteristics.

"I say you're spoiling that dog."

"Okay, the first rule of rolling in s***e club is no one talks about rolling in s***e club."