Fur Baby Devotee T-Shirts

"Wait, what? What are all these videos of other cats doing on her phone?"

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"No no, I said sit!!"

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

Bathing the dog

Rusty starts to have very violent thoughts toward his tail.

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

'Yes I know I'm intelligent and famous, but I'd trade it all for a good old belly scratching.'

"Look, children are just pathetic substitutes for people who can't have pets."

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

Fur Baby

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

"Back when we got him, Rufus was a child substitute. Now he's just a dog."

Cat Zoom Meeting

"Your motivation is that you're a dog and it's food."

'I do not pamper the dog, now get out of his chair!'

'That's right...he'll lick you to death.'

"Helen, Don, you're probably wondering why I called you here today. I'm afraid the answer is achingly simple: I can't get down."

'I'll bet you taught him that!'

Upper East Side Dog Park

Cat and owner sticking out tongues at each other.

'Oh there you are...you naughty girl! What have you been up to this time?'

'We've GOT to get the bullet out,,,'

"Congratulations. It's a litter."

"Well, it looks like you found Rexy's sweet spot!"

"Pampered?"

Pet Adoptions

Dogs are smart enough to understand human commands. Cats are smart enough to ignore them.

"He's a rescue."

'Trouble is, he rubbed my nose in it'