Fur Baby Aficionado T-Shirts

'$200 for bladder stones? NOW I know what they meant by 'precious stones'!'

"How adorable! I'd love to have one of my own but I'm so terribly allergic."

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"No no, I said sit!!"

"Foster failure"

"His real name is Major, but everyone call him GET DOWN!"

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

'Yes I know I'm intelligent and famous, but I'd trade it all for a good old belly scratching.'

"Look, children are just pathetic substitutes for people who can't have pets."

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

Fur Baby

'Honestly, now that Tiger is neutered I'm perfectly happy just cuddling.'

"Your motivation is that you're a dog and it's food."

"Back when we got him, Rufus was a child substitute. Now he's just a dog."

Cat Zoom Meeting

Upper East Side Dog Park

"It's a good boy!"

'I do not pamper the dog, now get out of his chair!'

Dog Looks Alarmed At The Vets.

Cat and owner sticking out tongues at each other.

"Congratulations. It's a litter."

'Oh there you are...you naughty girl! What have you been up to this time?'

"I think it's unfair to call her a "crazy cat-lady": She just loves all 63 of us..."

Pet Adoptions

"Yeah, going to the dog park is good, but I must prefer a more intimate walk with my Master..."

Dog Chow Mein

She'd decided to apply for a species change...

"He's a rescue."

"I need to go home now! I'm all out of pee!"

Dogs are smart enough to understand human commands. Cats are smart enough to ignore them.

"What do you think you're doing? You play with me every day for 15 months, and out of the blue, you're going to work?!"

Woman welcomes back her cat but not its new kittens.

'In ancient Egypt, cats were treated like gods and in this house, it's pretty much the same: Come in friend...'

'You see, Doctor, we've never had any children...