Fur Baby Caretaker T-Shirts

'Upper Jaw: Canine tooth, canine tooth... Lower Jaw: Canine tooth, canine tooth...'

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

Anatomy of a Dog

'It's 2 for Cushing's and 2 against! We need another opinion.'

'Honey, did you put the cat out?'

'This looks interesting...living room, dining room, family room, 3 bedrooms, 2 and a half litter boxes...'

'We're new. We've always gone to Dr. Bannister before.'

"Ok, Eddie, here she comes. Just relax, play it cool, and let her sniff your butt first."

Father dog walks his puppies.

'Four sets of x-rays, three examinations, three laboratory profiles...

'Trouble is, he rubbed my nose in it'

"Sorry, no paternal leave because your dog had puppies."

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"No no, I said sit!!"

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

Rusty starts to have very violent thoughts toward his tail.

Bathing the dog

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

'Yes I know I'm intelligent and famous, but I'd trade it all for a good old belly scratching.'

"Look, children are just pathetic substitutes for people who can't have pets."

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

Fleas Navidad.

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

Fur Baby

"Back when we got him, Rufus was a child substitute. Now he's just a dog."

"Your motivation is that you're a dog and it's food."

Cat Zoom Meeting

'I do not pamper the dog, now get out of his chair!'

'Hey you! Yeah, you! Who invited you?'

"It's a good boy!"

'That's right...he'll lick you to death.'

Upper East Side Dog Park

"Helen, Don, you're probably wondering why I called you here today. I'm afraid the answer is achingly simple: I can't get down."