Fur Baby Admiral Pillows

'My name is Spot. What's yours?' 'Two Spot.'

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"No no, I said sit!!"

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

Rusty starts to have very violent thoughts toward his tail.

'Yes I know I'm intelligent and famous, but I'd trade it all for a good old belly scratching.'

"Look, children are just pathetic substitutes for people who can't have pets."

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

Fur Baby

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

"Back when we got him, Rufus was a child substitute. Now he's just a dog."

Cat Zoom Meeting

"Your motivation is that you're a dog and it's food."

Upper East Side Dog Park

'I do not pamper the dog, now get out of his chair!'

'I'll bet you taught him that!'

'That's right...he'll lick you to death.'

"Helen, Don, you're probably wondering why I called you here today. I'm afraid the answer is achingly simple: I can't get down."

Cat and owner sticking out tongues at each other.

'Oh there you are...you naughty girl! What have you been up to this time?'

'We've GOT to get the bullet out,,,'

"Congratulations. It's a litter."

"Pampered?"

Pet Adoptions

'Trouble is, he rubbed my nose in it'

"Okay, we get it. You're descended from wolves."

Dogs are smart enough to understand human commands. Cats are smart enough to ignore them.

"He's a rescue."

Dog Chow Mein